How To Win Friends And Influence People – Book Review
This book had some great points to consider and to begin implementing if you aren’t already. The author Dale Carnegie discussed some really good fundamental techniques in dealing with people.
The only suggestion I would say is to get the newer updated book. After talking to my friend about this she explained how the newer version relates more to society now with technology. We discussed some main points about it and from the conversation it definitely sounded like the new version had more relatable scenarios compared to the version that I read. Either way it was a good read and definitely contained intriguing points to think about and start implementing.
The book itself had a lot of great suggestions on how to win friends and influence people but in this post I've only written the points that resonated with me. There are many more points that the book went over but I here are my favourites.
My main take-aways from the book:
1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. The whole concept is to never criticize anyone. An excellent quote from the book regarding this, “I will speak ill of no man… and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
2. It’s really important to appreciate and encourage others and to give honest and sincere appreciation. Humans deepest craving is to be appreciated and to feel important so if you can help people to feel this way you will be able to build a very strong relationship.
3. Become genuinely interested in other people. People love to talk about themselves and have someone listen, so let them talk for most of the conversation. Ask questions and actually listen to what they are saying rather than waiting for an opportunity to respond.
4. Smile. If you don’t feel like smiling, then force a smile. It seems very simple and it is. People like others who smile, it’s contagious and makes them feel good.
5. Talk about the other person’s interests. If you don’t know them, find out. Do some research before meetings, events or gatherings for specific people that you want to talk to. This is great advice to do before interviews as well.
6. Sincerely make the other person feel important.
7. If you’re wrong in an argument admit it quickly and emphatically.
8. Try to honestly see things from the other person’s perspective and be sympathetic about the other person’s ideas and desires.
9. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
I really enjoyed this point and the concept behind it. Essentially you can change a person’s attitude or behaviour by giving them a big reputation to live up to. An example that they gave in the book was telling someone that they have the qualities of a leader and that everyone can see it by their work ethic. Perhaps this person will begin working harder to now live up to this reputation.
10. When you make a request from someone ensure to put it in a form that shows the other person how they will benefit from it.
If you’re not using these points currently I suggest that you begin to practice one or two in your regular life. It can’t help to have more tools to help build great relationships with others.
By: Cortnie Bornyk